Posts tagged "love"

I hear that…

I hear that…

It’s incredible how much I miss Tristan after only one week.

He’s bringing out the best in me.

No, really…

Oh God please…

Can I keep him?

Bachelor Parties

I have been “seeing” a guy for about a month. However for three weeks now I am stuck in another state house sitting for my parents while they gallivant around Europe.

Said boy has just informed me that he is going to a bachelor party this weekend, asking if I was jealous. This is what I got in return when I made a joke about being right near the beach, asking if he was jealous.

I sent back - “I don’t think jealous is the word…”

And now no reply.

See, I don’t wanna come off as some controlling girlfriend, especially when I’m not his girlfriend. But I am worried. Actually I am more worried, that I am not sure if I am allowed to be worried. Hope that’s not confusing…

Seriously, I couldn’t care less if they go to a strip club or something like that. Hey, I see strippers pretty much every weekend. Well, burlesque style ones, and am one myself. But I have no idea what boundaries we are meant to have or not have.

And he has NO IDEA of what I didn’t do, and who I didn’t see just because of him.

He’s moved on…

Last night at a friend’s house we were talking about exes and how we wondered what they thought of us now, and if they did at all.

So this morning, silly me, did a bit of a facebook stalk, and discovered my ex from last year has indeed moved on. I thought I would be upset, though strangely enough I didn’t really feel anything.

This was a guy I had known off and on for 8 years. Upon reconnecting last year he had in a way promised me everything, then decided at the last minute it was all too much, and he was moving to London. And for those of you who don’t know where I am, I’m in AUSTRALIA. He was literally moving to the other side of the world. He completely cut me out of his life, and it was only through a mutual friend that I learned he ended up moving back here a few months ago. I have not tried to contact him at all.

I spent the end of last year, and a good chunk of the start of this one, hating the world and in a weird way hating God as I just couldn’t handle the fact that why after all this waiting did I have to lose him again, and in such a way. I’ve spent the past year being such a man-hater it’s not even funny. I would rarely give one the time of day. To be honest, I was totally rude.

Now here I am, the year is ending and it would seem I’m just not as affected by it anywhere near as much as I thought I was anymore. I am trying to move on myself, giving someone a chance for the first time in so long, and while I have no idea where that will go, it is nice for me to realise I can move on now too.

Praise God!

And I’ve been a fool and I’ve been blind
I can never leave the past behind
—Florence + The Machine’s “Shake It Out”

Of all the money that e’er I had
I’ve spent it in good company
And all the harm that e’er I’ve done
Alas it was to none but me
And all I’ve done for want of wit
To memory now I can’t recall
So fill to me the parting glass
Good night and joy be with you all

Of all the comrades that ever I had
They are sorry for my going away
And all the sweethearts that ever I had
They would wish me one more day to stay
But since it falls unto my lot
That I should rise and you should not
I’ll gently rise and I’ll softly call
Good night and joy be with you all

A man may drink and not be drunk
A man may fight and not be slain
A man may court a pretty girl
And perhaps be welcomed back again
But since it has so ordered been
By a time to rise and a time to fall
Come fill to me the parting glass
Good night and joy be with you all
Good night and joy be with you all

—Ed Sheeran’s “Give Me Love”
Joy runs deeper than despair.
—Corrie Ten Boom

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ABOUT

lillianlaceAustralian RAW Performer of the Year 2012. Miss Burlesque Australia QLD Gold Coast Finalist. Co-producer of Vanguard Burlesque. Brisbane based burlesque performer and model.
This is a collection of things I have found inspiring, funny, or just plain darn cute or pretty. Lover of lingerie, music, poetry, art, vintage photographs & adds, feathers, and all things sparkly!