I’ve worked for everything I have. I’ve struggled to get to this point in my life, and I will struggle as long as I have to. Unlike you, I don’t use people and take advantage of them.

I hear that…

Recent photoshoot with Undral Fashions.
Photographer - Aimee Stoddart

I heard from a friend when he was alive
He’d escaped through a door in the sky
And all of his thoughts were in black and white
 
I’d always imagined he would be the same
And that he’d have the strength to survive
Spent all of his time before death alive
 
Patient parades were a way of life
When a mother cried
Day your brother died
 
It’s only death you see
Please don’t get excited
 
I hadn’t forgotten what I’d said before
That I’d help him escape from the wire
With both of my hands in the line of fire
 
He’d never imagined he’d get out of here
Content with the ways of the world
Forgetting his friends and the pretty girls
 
Patient parades were a way of life
When a mother cried
Day your brother died
 
It’s only death you see
Please don’t get excited
The truth won’t set you free
Please don’t get excited

From a recent shoot I did with JNS Photographics.

Last night my boyfriend was wondering what we should do, and I suggested watching the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind having never seen it before myself.

If you’re not familiar with it, the story revolves around the idea that if you so wished you could have someone erased from your memory. The procedure would take place, after you have removed all physical evidence of the person, and upon waking you would have no recollection of them. Your friends would be asked by the company to not mention the relationship to you again - after all, you wouldn’t know what they were talking about.

So, here’s the question the movie is forcing you to ask yourself - If you could, would you have someone erased from your memory?

My answer is no, oddly enough. I have met some truly awful people in my short life, but I would never want to forget them completely. Maybe over time I would think of them less and less - which has happened. But knowing who they are and what they did, would surely make me know not to associate with them again.

If say, I erased my stalker ex Luke, this would be his prime opportunity to try and make another move on me - I’d be now blissfully unaware. How would I pick my friends if I didn’t remember being bullied constantly in school? I don’t think I would be the same person at all, and while I admit I am quite the fucked up mess, I know me - and it’s all from experience.

It’s the bad relationships that make you able to pick the right one later on in life. I had been single for a while before my current boyfriend. I would turn down offers of dates, and was, I suppose, a bit rude to men. I wasn’t going to settle, and knew that if I found the right guy it would work itself out naturally. Which it has.

And I had many memories of creeps I had dated or associated with in the past to make me positive I was making the right (and informed) choice this time. Before Tristan I’d weigh up boyfriends in my mind against each other. But Tristan is better than all of them - which is exactly what I needed, and of course exactly what I want.

Has been a little quiet on here lately as I am up to my neck with uni work. Missing seeing all the pretty photos and hearing what my Tumblr pals are up to…

*and goes back to burying her head in a book*

It’s incredible how much I miss Tristan after only one week.