Trying so hard to finish an assignment which is due in less than 12 hours. The stupid thing is I have had to write an essay on the exact same question “Are criminals born or made?” before! I don’t want to research it all again. I am trying to reword my old essay, but it’s still coming up as quite a high percentage matching “another student’s work” when I put it through the text matching software.
Last night at a friend’s house we were talking about exes and how we wondered what they thought of us now, and if they did at all.
So this morning, silly me, did a bit of a facebook stalk, and discovered my ex from last year has indeed moved on. I thought I would be upset, though strangely enough I didn’t really feel anything.
This was a guy I had known off and on for 8 years. Upon reconnecting last year he had in a way promised me everything, then decided at the last minute it was all too much, and he was moving to London. And for those of you who don’t know where I am, I’m in AUSTRALIA. He was literally moving to the other side of the world. He completely cut me out of his life, and it was only through a mutual friend that I learned he ended up moving back here a few months ago. I have not tried to contact him at all.
I spent the end of last year, and a good chunk of the start of this one, hating the world and in a weird way hating God as I just couldn’t handle the fact that why after all this waiting did I have to lose him again, and in such a way. I’ve spent the past year being such a man-hater it’s not even funny. I would rarely give one the time of day. To be honest, I was totally rude.
Now here I am, the year is ending and it would seem I’m just not as affected by it anywhere near as much as I thought I was anymore. I am trying to move on myself, giving someone a chance for the first time in so long, and while I have no idea where that will go, it is nice for me to realise I can move on now too.
Tonight a bunch of us had dinner after church. There was a guy there I had never met who worked for perfume companies. I asked him if he knew when Dita Von Teese’s perfume comes out.
He said, in a posh voice, “Darling, I deal with luxury perfume. You’ll find that in a chemist.”
Everyone either did the gasp, or laugh.
He continued… “Oh come on! She’s just a drunken strip tease artist.”
By this point everyone was now silent.
He continued… “She’s a drugged up prostitute.”
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I was so insulted.
How awkward for him when my friend turned to him and told him I do burlesque.
Last month I posed and did a burlesque show at Dr Sketchys. I was incredibly honoured to be there. If you don’t know what it is - look it up :) They’re all around the world!
Anyways, I’m finally seeing photos from it. The first time I see them, I think they’re great… But then after that, not so much. Until I end up virtually hating them. This always happens with photos.
I am my own worst critic.